This post has been edited 1 time. Last edit on 12 Jan 2007, 04:49 AM.After reading Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary some time ago, I felt inspired me to create my own snarky definitions. Here is a sampling of the ones polished enough to share. Criticisms, witticisms, and plain old laughter are welcome.
The Bedeviled Dictionary
angst, n. Happiness, to a teenager.
birthday suit, n. An undress uniform.
critic, n. A shapeless, parasitic insect which feeds off the lifeblood of creative people and offers pain and suffering in return.
income tax, n. Protection money collected by the government.
Internal Revenue Service, n. A collection of gainfully employed vampires who feed on money.
opinion, n. A wingfeather of congealed thought. Showing it off is the delight of its possessor and its plucking is the amusement of everyone else.
pet, n. A lower animal often used for companionship and, in some cases, changing the litter box.
science, n. A celebration of reason and learning. Sadly, like many parties, some of the participants are drunk.
sex, n. An offering to the God of Lust which, in the spirit of all tricksters, offers children in return.
stupidity, n. A common mental disorder which, unfortunately, appears to be incurable. It is also the primary root of all sin.
syntax, n. A fee paid by those who wish to prevent the evils of mangling the written word. Sadly, those too stingy to pay tend to insist the most on inflicting their writing on others.
writing, n. Both agony and ecstasy for the price of one.