About ten thousand years ago,
People crossed an icy bridge
But as non-Whites, they were just
Immigrants that got here first
And who remembers Nouvelle France?
(Not like Québec helped Riel,)
So notwithstanding New Brunswick
The Anglos can go to Hell!
Bring-Your-Own-Nation, what a thought!
(Kellie Leitch need not apply)
But warned George Grant: “Watch your back,
Neolibs are border-blind!”
I guess Plutocrats was in jest
—Why else support that trade deal?—
Thus Chrystia Freeland still is banned
From entering Rossiya!
["Alberta Bound" first half of first verse]
Theirs our thanks for the Ski-Doo
Inspi-é-red Winnie the Pooh
Though Ecofarm don’t think jack [♪] of kids’ books
Pwn3d in World Wars I and II,
Supported Castro through and through,
No wonder Dick gave Trudeau dirty looks
Alberta Bound, Alberta Bound,
“I’m Safe,” thought Steve,
But then he found
The Firewall, razed to the ground—
The NDP’s Alberta Bound!
["The Maple Leaf Forever" third verse]
And with Darth Drumpf the new Mad King
I guess it’s now, or never:
Let’s burn the White House, then they’ll sing
The Maple Leaf Forever!
Botched parody of 'The Maple Leaf Forever' by @Thorvald (El Thorvaldo)
Intended to feature in a Canada 150 comic set to this arrangement, despite having listened to it multiple times even before now, I only realized at the eleventh hour that I'd misconstrued the melody and the project was scrapped for lack of time—the lyrics remain incomplete, and the resulting comic would have been abridged anyway, but they're posted for posterity 'cuz I think I was pretty clever.
It was an embarrassingly simple oversight: what I thought was a second verse before the "Alberta Bound" interlude was the chorus, which I then forgot took place again at the end. Basically: first I wrote too many verses, then I wrote too few. What was probably the golden chance of my lifetime to do the Mother of All Canada Comics, and I bloody blew it out the window.
"The Maple Leaf Forever" © Alexander Muir;
"Alberta Bound" © Gordon Lightfoot
Originally submitted to DeviantArt July 2017. Cover image adapted from Robert Carter.
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