You were named after a keg

Weirdo at the pharmacy asked which brand of press-on nails I was wearing. The last time I played with fake nails was, like, in 1990, when my cousin used to put makeup and stuff on me, and they never lasted more than a few minutes. My nails are overdue for a trim and hers were chewed to stubs, so by comparison mine might have appeared "nice," but c'mon. No one would actually pay money to buy falsies that are all different lengths and shapes like this. I don't paint them or anything, either. I should've showed her some of my old photos from when I did used to let them grow crazy long, hah.