@marven4lyf || Journal Entry

18 Mar 2024, 08:51 PM

I don't feel too great. I never do right before that time of month (I have PMDD) but man I feel like total shit the last few days. I've just been uploading old art with new commentary, but I wish I could feel it, as in feel the same excitement I did when I drew it. I know to expect this dip in my mood but it always sucks and expecting it doesn't make it easier. Suddenly everything I love and that makes my life worth living means nothing to me. All I feel inside is emptiness. But at least I write this knowing it will pass eventually. Finding this site has honestly helped my mood a lot though. I don't like the looks of many art websites, and I hate social media, so when DeviantArt eclipse was made permanent, it sorta felt like losing my home online. Even though I still use DeviantArt, I want this to be my main "home" from now on. And for the record I may keep to myself as I get self-conscious sometimes and believe my presence bothers people, but I am definitely open to making new friends and socializing. Especially if we have any interests in common, I'm very passionate about what I post (usually of course, this week is different xD) But yeah I just wanted to vent a little. It's frustrating to feel nothing when you know something should make you happy. I'm just like Flowey fr (hello Undertale fans) Okay byeee x3

Comments (2)

Posted: Monday, 18 March, 2024 @ 09:45 PM

As someone that spent several months rehosting virtually his entire digital artistic history, I know that feel, though my experience is the inverse. After cringing at the really old stuff, going through the archives gets me pretty nostalgic—which then turns to frustration that I've been unable to muster the strength I used to into drawing today. :c

I'm glad you've found sanctuary in Side 7: as I'm wont to say, this was the dAlternative we were craving back in 2015, and after getting burned by neophyte challengers, finding a site that was a) well-designed and b) well-managed honestly felt too good to be true. :P I keep a close watch on priority custodial duties but my general correspondence is backlogged by months even with friends, so it'll be a while before I catch up to your works, but I'll be sure to drop some lines.

Posted: Monday, 18 March, 2024 @ 09:57 PM

@Thorvald: Thank you for the thoughtful response! I definitely feel frustration at how I used to draw so much and be alright at it, it feels like my skill has totally dropped in recent years. ;-; But that happens. And I mean, my art was and is still super cringey, but I'd rather be cringe than unauthentic. Thanks for the welcome to Side7! It seems like a friendly community so I'm looking forward to meeting people!

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