Take up the Edo burden—
Send forth the worst ye breed—
Go, bind the Chinks to serfdom
To sate your homeland's greed;
To fasten heavy harness
On foreign folk, and mild—
Your new-caught sullen peoples,
Gook woman, man and child.
Take up the Edo burden—
Impatient claims to land,
Thin veil'd the threat of terror
Cuts short true freedom's stand;
Through uncouth speech make simple
Your strategy of pain,
Rob natives of their labour
And stunt the locals' gain.
Take up the Edo burden—
The savage war of peace—
Through strife and exploitation
Your own wealth will increase.
And if the doltish heathens
Should dare your will dispute,
Then, in the name of freedom,
Don't hesitate to shoot.
Take up the Edo burden—
Fret not the global law—
You've scorned every convention;
Your rep will never thaw.
The napalm's made for burning,
And targets are abound:
UN and Gook civilians—
Bomb them into the ground.
Take up the Edo burden—
Ignore the global press,
For why respect your neighbours
When your will they contest?
Retreat into the fortress
Of fantasy and myth,
Renounce your subjects' welfare
And ride to war forthwith.
Take up the Edo burden—
T'is time you made a stand;
Your base, conniving scholars
Declare the world your land.
With false and racist theories
Advance your iron will
Of hate and domination
That turns all good to ill.
Take up the Edo burden!
T'is now your last recourse:
You've burnt all of your bridges
With reason and remorse.
You claim it's death or vic'try;
Still, bear this truth in mind:
Your each and every evil
Will be repaid in kind.
The Edo Burden by @Thorvald (El Thorvaldo)
Parody of "The White Man's Burden" by Rudyard Kipling, with inspiration from Ernest Crosby's "The Real White Man's Burden" and Henry Labouchère's "The Brown Man's Burden".
This was written as roleplay in Imperium Offtopicum XIV as a satirical critique of christos200's Japanese Empire. Testifying to just how slavishly he sought to repeat history, his fledgling attempt at a regional alliance was actually called the Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere. Following nearly two years of escalating tensions over the UN's bid to intercept his imperial subjugation of Vietnam, christos attacked peacekeeping headquarters in Ho Chi Minh City in the fall of 2105, effectively declaring war on half the planet and one of his own allies. The next season his remaining ally first quit the Co-Prosperity Sphere, and shortly thereafter joined the anti-Japan bandwagon. The kicker to it all? He actually thinks he can win.
It really, really pains me how impulsively christos is willing to drag a country's dignity through the mud, particularly when he claims to be enamoured by its history.
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