El Thorvaldo Moderator

There's a place called Alert
At the top o' th' World
And a-top-ah that pole
Their flag's bein' unfurled.

Yo the Russians can't take it;
They say "Crazy Canucks,
Yo bettah give us that land
Or your friend down south's [snip]ed."

An' once-a-pon-time
They might've arranged it:
Cause they're known for their peace,
But Stevie's workin' to change it.

Suez '56,
They said "Let's work togetha."
They gave Pearson the Prize
And UNEF the tether.

Afghanistan now
Gaves 'em lots o' new toys
That rolled over their boys.

But for Pashtuns and Tadjiks
They've provided a lifeline:
Paved roads, Timmy's drive-thrus,
And a big effin' pipeline.

At home it's a rainbow,
The world in a package;
Except in Qu├ębec
Where the veil gets no backage.

Yeah, come to Canada
Where the healthcare is free!
Though if you get hurt
There's no doc to be seen.

This 'Parliament' thing
Didn't really work out:
It conflicts with Lord Harper
And all John Baird's shouts.

All over the world
Canada's known
For MAPLE reactors
That got shelved at home.

They're never found wanting.
Lewis, Kielburger,
Arbour and Sir Banting.

Go give 'em a call;
They invented the phone!
The Wrights' plane don't fly
As good as their own.

Their beautiful vistas
Make a perfect vacation.
Come see 'em quick
'Cuz the're oil-rich locations.

So if you seek mountains,
Green trees, and blue lakes,
Go the Great White North
And pound in your stakes.

They'll welcome you in
And soon you'll be mates.
Jack up your net worth
And get sold to the States.

Ode to Canada by @Thorvald (El Thorvaldo)

This was my submission to a short-lived and now inaccessible poetry improv thread over at CivFanatics. The inaugural topic was "Canada", whose political culture my colleagues well know is something of a personal obsession. As the thread was part of Forum Games, it was subject to a purge in 2009, and I cannot recall the original date of publication; although as it references the Russian North Pole flag-planting stunt, it would not have been written earlier than 2007, and the ninth stanza appears to be about the first prorogation, which took place in December '08.

[Originally submitted to DeviantArt August 2013.]

Teen (LVO)
Finished Work
292d15h ago
Other Work By @Thorvald
In These Portfolios

Comments & Critiques (2)

Preferred comment/critique type for this content: Any Kind

Average Rating:

Posted: Friday, 12 May, 2023 @ 09:52 PM
Rating: 4

Quick question since I'm still a noob on this website, how do I upload text submissions? I tried for my first post and the file corrupted, all I know is I'm doing it wrong.

Posted: Friday, 12 May, 2023 @ 10:12 PM

@chaseawaythedark: This one? The uploader is pretty good at parsing .txt, .rtf and .odt files, but it doesn't support all formatting functions (yet), so if you were doing anything extremely fancy it was probably nullified. If you know your way around HTML, you can touch up the text yourself after upload.

Leave a Comment

You must be logged in and have an Active account to leave a comment.
Please, login or sign up for an account.

What kind of comments is Thorvald seeking for this piece?

  • Any Kind - Self-explanatory.
  • Casual Comments - Comments of a more social nature.
  • Light Critique - Comments containing constructive suggestions about this work.
  • Heavy Critique - A serious analysis of this work, with emphasis on identifying potential problem areas, good use of technique and skill, and suggestions for potentially improving the work.
Please keep in mind, critiques may highlight both positive and negative aspects of this work, but the main goal is to constructively help the artist to improve in their skills and execution. Be kind, considerate, and polite.